Alex: Pursuit

"What's it about? Selflessness? Saintliness? Martyrdom? I'm not interested in sacrificing for others. I have sacrificed enough. I have studied hard, worked conscientiously--I used to stay late to do pro-bono work--and others--OTHERS--have reaped all the benefits and not so much as left me the threshing floor scraps." Alex paused after reading the concern in his companion's eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't even know your name. It's been a while since I spoke with anyone besides my grandfather." Feeling bashful, Alex rose from his seat, placed his notebook in his left pocket, and apologized again.

"Where are you going? Aren't you going to ask my name? What about our competition?"
"I don't know. I don't want to know you. I changed my mind." He walked swiftly towards the door, leaving a nub of donut on the young woman's table.
"You haven't learned your lesson!" the woman yelled.

Although he heard her, he did not turn around. Sounded stupid. Bellyaching. Blathering. It wasn't even cathartic. It was embarrassing. What good could have possibly come from talking to someone?

Alex huffed along the sidewalk, darting around other pedestrians.Where to go? No place worth going to. Want to disappear. Want to be asleep. Nothingness. Grandpa's? Bah. No money. No car. Stranded. On an island. I am an island. This man is an island. Sinking. Sunken. A car stereo interrupted his thinking. The tinny sound of soft rock unnerved Alex further. Turn it down! Turn it down! Pay to get the a/c fixed and roll up the windows! Attacked--I am being audibly attacked. Tweeter shot treble-arrows. Others--these are your others. Inconsiderate, unaware, cattle chewing their pre-digested cud and crapping out the preferences of celebrities and the opinions of the supposed authorities. Ron Paul and Che Guevara. Paul and Guevara! Really!(Two months prior, Alex had observed a sky blue car with a bumper sticker for the libertarian and the communist sharing space on the same peeling bumper.)What is wrong with these people? Hardly anyone thinks for themselves, but they all think they do.

Alex was dealt a glancing blow on the arm by the shoulder of a shorter man hustling in the opposite direction. Absorbing the collision without altering his course, he continued his quick pace.

A familiar voice from behind entered his ears. "Hey! Stop! Mr. Napkin--stop!" Slightly out of breath, the young woman from Dan's Donuts placed her hand on the same shoulder that had just been hit. Alex spun around and looked contemptuously at his pursuer.

"What?"
"Never leave a person in a bad way."
"What?"
"Another lesson for you." She smiled. "You win, okay? You've had it harder than me. Anyone who darts off like you did must have had it hard for a while. What's wrong with you?"
Shame rose within Alex. What is she doing here? She followed me? Probably crazy, too.
"Nothing is wrong with me. I made a fool of myself and I didn't stay around for the aftermath. Sounds reasonable to me."
"Foolishness is fleeing from aid--amongst other things. We were going to lighten each other's days a bit with a little conversation and you left me more frustrated than when we began. I'll not stand for it."
"You're full of one-liners, aren't you?"
"Truth is brief."
"Exhibit C."
"I'm not going to alter the way I communicate for you. I can't help it if I'm full of profundities." Her smile was persistent and aimed at disarming him.
"Why did you follow me?"
"Because I am a curious person. A man who storms out of a donut shop after being invited to sit by a pretty young woman like myself must have an interesting story."
"Forgive me for not satiating your curiosity, but I refuse to be the subject of an experiment," Alex stated sternly.
"Who said anything about experiments? I was only trying to help by..."
"Prying."
"No. By showing concern."
"You have no reason to be concerned for me."
"Exactly."
"If your after a letter of recommendation for sainthood, I haven't got the time." Alex moved away.
"Are you made of stone? Calm down...what is your name?"
"What's it to you?"
"Stop it already. If you didn't really want to talk with me, you would never have turned around. I'll start. My name is Anna."
She's caught me. It's true. I am lonely.
"My name is Alexander."