Overheard at a Park

Parking Lot

[Doors slamming]

“Oh! Wow! The sun!”

“Yep.”

“What a great day!”

“Yeah, really great. It’s good to be outside. Feels like it’s been a year since it was warm enough to get out.”

[Audible deep-breathing]

“I heard it’s going to rain on Friday maybe.”

“April showers bring May flowers.”

“Uh huh.”

Basketball Court

[Ball bouncing]

 “You got nothin!”

[Sneaker squeaking]

“Go on!... Get that weak stuff outta here!”

 [Ball bouncing]

 [Metalic clang]

“I told ya son! Nothin!”

“Would you shut up already, man?!”

“What? I was just havin' a little fun. Chill. It’s just a game, dude.”

[Ball bouncing]

“Whatever.”

[Ball bouncing]

“Get ready, fool! Here it comes! You ready for it?”

[Ball bouncing]

[Grunting]

[Swish]

“Hah ha! No your not! 20-12! That’s game, sucker.”

“I said shut the fuck up, man! Get over yourself already.”

Park Bench

“Such language. In public no less. There’s children around for Pete’s sake.”

“Oh come on now, Ruth. They’re just having a little fun.”

“A foul mouth is no fun at all. ‘A fool’s mouth is his undoing.’”

“Here we go…”

“What? You don’t agree?”

Public Restroom

“Guys, guys! Seriously, shut up! They’re going to hear us. They're right outside. Shh.”

[Suppressed laughing]

“Go on, Derrick. Do it already.”

“I will. I will. Just gimme some space, alright? Back up wouldya?”

“He’s not gonna.”

“Nah. Let’s leave em.”

“I am too. Just gimme a second, willya? Give it to me already. Who’s gotta light?”

[Denim rustling]

“Give to me. I’ll do it… So I’ll light it and then we all walk outta here very casual in different directions one after the other. We’ve got probably like 15 seconds. We’ll keep walking till it goes and then we’ll take off.  In different directions. Don't come back here.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t care.”

“Why are we doing this, again?”

“Shut up, Tim. Does it matter? Because we can. Jeez. Calm down.”

Picnic Table

[Birds chirping]

“Who do you think you are?”

“What? You mean like rhetorically?”

“No. Literally. Who do you think you are?”

“Uh…”

“Don’t you know?”

“Uh. Not exactly, no.”

[Silence]

“ I’m Ted.”

“What?... That’s it? You can’t be serious, Ted.”

“Well, who are you smart guy?”

“I read the other day that you are what you do. Makes sense to me.”

“Where’d you read that?”

“An article about Heidegger. Martin Heidegger. There’s a uh new book coming about him or something. Maybe a new translation.”

“I've heard of him. Wasn’t he a Nazi?”

“He supported the Nationalist Party way back when, but that’s beside the point.”

“So he was a Nazi."

"Sort of."

"Whatever. So... Yyou are what you do, huh? Sounds American, not German. Didn’t Batman say that in the Dark Knight? Or was it Batman begins? Wait… it was Rachael. She sorta scolded him with it.  But uh yeah if it’s true… I um guess that makes you raising broad questions.”

 “Um, no. There’s—”

“Sounds Native American. Raises Broad Questions. And I'm Has Trouble Answering Broad Questions.”

[Trees rustling.]

“...Okay. As I was saying… there’s more to it of course than what you’re doing at the moment the question was asked. Is asked.”

“So, what is it? Like everything you’ve done? Ever? That’s who you are?”

“That’s what I think he was saying. Said.”

“Weak.”

“Less weak than being ‘Ted’.”

“Well I’m sorry if I didn’t have it all formulated going into it. You definitely caught me off guard. It’s a tough question. It’s not like I haven’t given it any thought. It seems like the kind of question that’s gonna take more than a sentence or two. To be fair.”

“Yeah.”

[Soda slurping]

“I disagree, though, with the idea of the definition, that you are what you do.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s uh arbitrary. Like names are. The name thing was a joke, by the way. Of course I’m not just Ted and you’re not just raising questions and all the other acts you’ve done… They aren’t irrelevant, just inadequate.”

[Dog barking. Owner scolding.]

“Arbitrary? Aren’t all definitions arbitrary kinda by definition? I mean, they’re all line-drawing? That’s what they do. They distinguish something from its surroundings. Outline it. Set it apart. I don’t think that’s reason to stop defining, though.”

“Yeah but it doesn’t have to be arbitrary. Sometimes it fits. I don't mean fitting, but uh…well, yeah, fitting’s fine I guess. Because some things are simple and definitions can outline simple stuff.”

“So a person’s identity is complex. Does that mean we can’t describe it? Plenty is complex.”

“You didn’t say ‘describe’. You asked me who I was. That’s like all of me, right? That’s going to take more than a description. Height, weight, and hair color is a description. Who I am is like that and a whole bunch of other stuff, like all these roles I have and where I’ve been and where I’d like to go and on and on.”

“Well, I don’t see it’s any more arbitrary than any other definition. That’s how we think. Definitions make stuff intelligible. They’re like the raw materials we build with.”

“It’s all um behaviorist, don’t you think? What he's saying. Actions—what you do—are done out there in the world right? so your identity is in large part public or could be public, visible. Doesn’t that strike you as a little… reductive?”

[Metal scraping. Child’s crying. Mother reassuring.]

“Poor girl.”

“Yeah, she’s gonna have some scabs after that. At least she’s got a helmet.”

“Yeah. Moms like those.”

“Reductive you were saying…”

“Right. That doesn’t take into account the private goings-on. I mean, that’s a big part of it, who you are. What’s not seen or acted on at all, directly, what’s just inside you. Not like secrets or something, I mean like everything that goes unseen and unsaid… It’s not like you’re ‘doing’ any of those things and yet they are you or uh a part of you.”

 “Eh. Maybe. I don’t know. What you do is like what you’re most invested in. You actually making it happen, as in like bringing it into existence. Every action is basically creative. That’s a big deal, creating. So a by-product of all of this creating is you make yourself, too. And I don’t think Heidegger was pushing for something explicit, like formulated into some sort of all-encompassing proposition. But private goings-on… those are actions, too, so they’d be included.”

“They aren’t all actions, what’s internal. Some of them are like um states or modes. Like a mood. A mood isn’t an action. You don’t ‘do’ happy or sad or pissed or whatever. Those have still got to be a part of you though. So you’re—we are—actions and states...at least”

“I think we’re—”

“And bodies, too. We are embodied and we don’t ‘do’ our bodies. At least I don’t. Maybe that's your thing.”

“Har har. Stay on topic.”

“Well I've just given you at least two significant things, truths, that ‘you are what you do’ doesn’t take into account.”

“We’ve got a bunch of uninteresting ‘truths’ or ‘facts’ about us, too. You want those in your definition? You want to include the brand of shoes you wore in fifth grade or the um number of teeth you’ve had pulled? Come on. To include anything that could be predicated of you for your whole life is a uh bit silly, don’t you think?”

“No. Being is rich, Rob. As in to be, to exist. God that word sounds awful when you say it like that, abstractly. Being. But whatever. I’m not ready to take a machete to it for the sake of discussion.”

“Hmph.”

[Birds chirping]

“Well, I think Heidegger was talking about something more fundamental than what you’re getting at. Essence, ya know? The deep stuff. Like the basic ontologically stuff that everything else cakes on top of. I hear what you’re saying, but uh… you’re kinda forfeiting the game.”

“What game is that?”

“The game of making sense of the world and life. The game of flexing your brain. The whole philosophical enterprise.”

[Snickering] “That’s a bit of an overstatement.”

“No, Ted, I don’t think it is. I mean, to admit that personal identity is unknowable, not just unknown, but totally unknowable because the list would be too long or something—which is what  you’ve been saying, right?—where does that sort of thinking end? I can’t imagine it’s limited to this one question.”

“I didn’t say it was unknowable. Just not that easy. It requires more subtlety.”

“Subtlety. Okay. So if I give you, what? a week? You’ll have a contrary formulation, some other proposition to state who we are?”

“Well shit, Rob. I don’t have a timetable for you. I don’t know if I’d ever be up to the task. I’m not sure I’m that smart.”

“Just smart enough to be a critic.”

“Jeez I had no idea I’d burst such a bubble being honest.”

“Yeah…well… You have to admit it’s an important issue, seriously crucial. I sure as hell would like to know and… Forget it.”

[Trees rustling]

[Soda slurping]

Playground

[Metallic creaking]

 “Higher!”

[Cloth fluttering]

“Higher, daddy! Higher!”

[Metallic creaking]

“If I push you any higher, you’re going to flip over the bar, crazy girl.”

[Giggling] “I don’t care! Higher! Higher!”

***

[Pebbles pattering]

“Woah!”

[Thud]

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“I want off! Let me off!”

[Children laughing]

[Pebbles pattering]

“Faster! Faster!”

 “Stop it! I want to get off!”

“Aaaaaaaheeeee!”

[Thud]

“Faster!”

[Pebbles pattering]

Paved trail

“Hello? Can you hear me? Cheryl? Yeah I’m sorry I’m not good with this earpiece thing yet. Hello?”

[Wheels grinding]

“Okay. Good. I swear this is like only the second time I’ve used it. I’ve had it for like a year. I always forget about it. But yes, where were we? Oh. Yes. I’ve been okay. Maddie’s been a little cranky today. I thought I’d get out and take her for a walk.”

[Wheels grinding]

“Oh yeah. Really nice out. Gorgeous. Have to enjoy it while it lasts. I think the weatherman said it would rain tomorrow morning.”

[Wheels grinding]

“Um… not much. I uh had some time for myself on Tuesday. Greg was sweet and took a half-day just ‘cause. He took Maddie to the zoo. It was great. I hadn’t been alone in months it seems like.”

[Woman sneezing.]

“Bleh. Excuse me. Spring has sprung I guess. I can see the pollen right now. What’d you say, though?”

[Wheels grinding]

“Oh, nothing big. I went to this bookshop down the street. I browsed a little but I couldn’t get into anything, you know? I just sat down in this big cushy armchair and kinda watched people go by. I zoned out. Do you ever do that, like just kinda… float?”

[Children laughing distantly]

“I just stared out the storefront windows and like lost it. It sorta scared me, my lack of uh interest. I didn’t cry or anything but I was so exhausted. I had a hard time getting up. I wanted to go home but I didn’t at the same time. I don’t know.”

[Child’s babbling]

“Yes. That’s a squirrel, Maddie. Skwir-rul. Skwir-rul.”

[Wheels griding]

“No, no, Cheryl. I’m fine. Nothing major. Things with Greg have been a little uh… lifeless? lately. Maybe it’s just me, though. I don’t know. He seems fine. It’s just like kinda like an office or something at home. Like a workplace atmosphere I think. We kinda go through the motions and exchange pleasantries, ‘Mornin’ Sam.’ ‘Mornin’ Frank.’ water-cooler type stuff, but we like don’t really talk anymore. Not like we used to—which is okay, I mean, it happens. But it’s like everything’s been said, I don’t even know what I could offer at this point really. I mostly hang out with Maddie. I feel like I’m regressing back to toddlerhood. I'm good with my colors and ABCs. But yes, we don’t really talk and now we kinda just have to do now, like there’s nothing left to say so we just run these laps every day. But listen to me. I’m just very tired and overly—”

[Birds chirping]

“What? No. I don’t know. A few weeks. A month, tops.”

***

 “So.”

[Shoe scuffing]

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a younger brother. He’s twelve.”

“That’s nice... Do you two get along?”

“Sorta but he’s weird. What about you?”

“Nope. I’m an only child.”

“Lucky.”

“I guess.”

[Trees rustling]

“It’s not all that lucky.”

“How’s that? I’d think it’d be the best. Because like you don’t have to watch anybody whenever your parents want to go out. That’s a total drain. Plus like when I’m around the house I’m like bothered all the freakin’ time. But I can’t go out whenever I want to because of Donny—my brother’s Donny. So that sucks. And my brother’s into this like fantasy video game type thing, not just in to but like absolutely um absorbed, like united with it. He’s like nuts about it. All of his friends run home from school and play it together online, you know, in their own rooms, and like scream at each other into these headset things. Looks totally goofy. Every day he throws a total fit about only getting like three hours to play it every day, which they don’t keep track of at all, BTW. It’s a big hassle because he’s either screaming about the game or screaming about not being able to play the game. Plus he does this super annoying thing where he like doesn’t flush the toilet. Seriously ever. We share a bathroom and the kid never flushes the freakin’ toilet. He’s twelve. He knows it drives me bananas. But he’s in such a rush to get back to the game because there’s apparently no like ‘pause’ or anything and whenever you’re away people can come up to you and beat you or take your points or magic potion or whatever it is they take. He’s a constant headache around the house. We share the bathroom and I don’t even go in there anymore. I use my parents’, which they aren’t too happy about of course because you know, it’s theirs or whatever and ‘I’ve got my own’, which I don’t though really because mine is full of little brother mess.”

“Wow. That stinks.”

“Yeah.”

[Trees rustling]

“I guess when you put it that way its got its drawbacks. But it keeps things interesting, you know. Never a dull moment at least.”

“Um no. I’d rather have a dull moment or two. It’s a real hassle.”

“I’ve had plenty of dull moments. They’re nothing to like about ’em. I bet your brother loves you and I bet you help keep him in line like a big sister does. That’s a good thing to do. I just sit in a dark room on a computer listening to music and wishing something would happen.”

“Aw. Well, hey, something did happen!”

“Huh?”

“You’re at the park with me. Duh.”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s something all right.”

“I’m glad we’re at the park.”

“Yeah me too.”

[Distant yelling]

“I’m sorta surprised I asked you.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never done that before. I’m shy.”

“That’s sweet.”

 “Thanks for coming.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

[Dog barking]